just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
