READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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