There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
