smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
