plz talk dirty to me
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
