Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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