Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
