She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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