mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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