i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
