Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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