:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Let the clothes fall where they may.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
