good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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