no, he came in my armpit
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
