If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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