tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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