Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
