im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
