I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
