That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
