You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
