It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
