I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
