Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
