so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
