1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
