she woke up with a sticky ear
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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