Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
