we're blogging at a bar
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
