Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
