The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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