Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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