Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize