reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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