so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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