I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
