why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
