It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
