What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
So many bounce houses so little time
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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