Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
