So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
