Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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