I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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