He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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