I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
