I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Let's get the cat blown out
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
