My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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