I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
