You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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