I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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